Signs of Low Self Esteem To Look Out For
We hear that it is somehow pathological to have low self-esteem, yet we aren't told how to have authentic self-esteem.
Healthy self-esteem is cultivated when you have the right attitude about yourself.
So the "good news" about low self-esteem is that you can change your attitude, perspective about the self and begin to elevate your sense of inner worth.
You may be ignorant as to why you should feel a healthy sense of self-esteem, or you may block yourself from doing the right things that would give you that sense of healthy self-esteem.
There are signs of low self-esteem that you can look for in other people and in yourself: - Low expectations about life or for yourself.
- Trouble trusting in your own judgment.
- Trouble putting your own needs first.
(Note: this is not the same as being self-centered.
The belief that it is, is another sign of low self-esteem.
) - Reluctance to let yourself take on challenges.
- Constantly worrying that you have treated someone else badly.
- Being excessively hard on yourself, but always "taking it easy" on other people.
- Neglecting yourself-for instance, not caring if you dress nicely or not, not caring if you eat healthy or not, and so forth.
- Obsessing over what others think, while downplaying what you think, about you.
- Trouble accepting or believing compliments.
- Anxiety attacks.
- Social withdrawal or difficulty with appropriately following social norms.
- Lack of self-confidence, even when you have good reason to feel confident in your ability.
- Bouts of depression or sudden and inexplicable bouts of sorrow.
What Leads to Low Self-Esteem? Low self-esteem may come from your parents if they have low self-esteem or are too hard on you.
It may come from your being sensitive to "jerks" at school or in society in general.
Low self-esteem often comes, however, from not analyzing your own beliefs-that is, not doing the critical thinking that was mentioned earlier.
So, a great way to cultivate a higher self-esteem is to start questioning your beliefs, the extent of your knowledge, the scope of your talents, or your usual way of doing things.
A healthy self-esteem can handle self-inquiries like this.
Learn to be tough on yourself without beating yourself down or hating yourself.
"Keep it real".
If you have healthy self-esteem, you can do that.
What you'll discover with your critical thinking is that you have beliefs or attitudes that are delusional that is, they are blocking you from having high self-esteem.
A reason that many, many people don't engage in critical thinking about themselves is that they are afraid of what they will find.
They are afraid that they won't like themselves if they look at themselves closely.
This fear is a huge obstacle to having healthy self-esteem, however.
If that sounds like you, you'll want to lose that fear.
But too much self-denial also leads to low self-esteem.
You believe that you are deserving.
You delight in healthy pleasures.
You enjoy eating tasty and delicious food, have a healthy sex life, undertake basic self-care, take time off to relax and so on.
If you have low self-esteem, you will write off your successes as just good luck or mostly the efforts of other people in which you played a small role, or something like that.
Give credit where credit is due, yes, and be grateful for those who may have helped you, and be mindful of all that it took for you to be successful; but acknowledge and take pride in your achievement.
Do your victory dance and sing your victory song.
Take pride in being of service to other people.
This doesn't mean in the giving of charity, although that can be a good thing.
It means give yourself credit for the way you help or provide something for others to earn your money.
Give yourself credit for being a caring, attentive parent.
Give yourself credit for being a good friend.
Remember to keep it real and have a good attitude about yourself, in summation.
It is possible to build healthy self esteem.
Validate, approve and feel good about who you are.